


Breaking the Fortress

by JustADumbWriter



Category: Breaking Bad, Team Fortress 2
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, Canon Typical Violence, Non-Consensual Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-03-21 05:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3679128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustADumbWriter/pseuds/JustADumbWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a very coincidental turn of events, Sniper and Jesse Pinkman find both of their vans to have been towed. They both break into the impound lot to reclaim what is rightfully theirs, however, in the dark there is a frantic mixup, which leads the both of them into a whole world of trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"SON OF A BITCH!" 

"BLOODY WANKER!"

Both curses echo through the darkness. Neither hears the other. 

\---

Jesse Pinkman's fingers curl around the links in the metal fence. He violently shakes it, as if willing it to simply cave in and swing open, granting him access to the locked vehicle impound lot. Cursing again, he realises his efforts are useless, and retracts his fingers from the fence, only to tangle them in his short, brown hair. 

"Mister White's gonna fuckin' kill me..." He mumbles to the emptiness, before grinding his teeth together in worry. 

He glances up towards the sky, dimly-lit by a few old lampposts. Barbed wire lines the top of the fence. Great. 

Jesse pauses for a moment to consider the options. Either he could wait until tomorrow, come back when the lot opens, and pray to every God and Goddess he has ever heard of that no one will search the RV (as this would lead them to finding the meth lab he had been co-running), or he can break in just now, get the RV back, and never speak of it again. 

The second option sounds much more appealing to him, and is also less likely to result in Mister White killing and liquefying his ass, Jesse decides. 

He groans. 

'This is so unfair,' he thinks, removing his three-sizes-too-big hoodie. 'I was only gone for- like- one fuckin' second.' He drapes it over his arm and grabs onto the fence.' And this bitch just HAD to be cruisin' past. Damn playboys weren't even worth it.'

He begins to climb. 

\---

Sniper paces back and forth, on the other side of the lot, his boots kicking up dust as he does. He could kill someone. (Preferably, the bastard who TOWED HIS BLOODY VAN!) 

'Last time I stop for cigarettes 'round here.' Sniper rolls his eyes, scratching at the back of his head. 

He needs his van, and he needs it NOW. He was supposed to be back at the base hours ago, and he needs to be up early tomorrow morning for battle. He stops pacing, and glares over to the gate.

Chained and padlocked.

The owner of the lot wouldn't be back until morning- and even then, Sniper would probably have to fill out forms, and pay a fine, and it all just seemed like too much hassle. 

He glances around. No one else is nearby. Who's to say it would be wrong to simply... Sneak in and take his van back? Sure, it's not really morally right... But he's a bloody mercenary! He kills people for Christ's sake! (Well, maybe 'kills' is too strong a word, considering Respawn and all, but still.)

Deciding he didn't feel like getting a new asshole torn for him by soldier- or even worse- The Administrator, Sniper takes a step towards the fence. He analyses its strength and structure for a moment, then decides to just have at it with his kukri. 

He withdraws the kukri from its sheath and raises it, before bringing it crashing down onto the links of the fence. After unceremoniously hacking away at the fence a little more, Sniper has successfully carved an entrance to the lot. 

He squeezes through the gap.


	2. Chapter 2

THUD. 

"OW, BITCH!" 

Jesse's curses are muffled by the dirt on the ground that he so clumsily fell onto. Dragging himself to his feet, he dusts himself off as best he can, and shrugs his hoodie- which he had used to cover the barbed wire with- back on. He squints through the darkness, trying to make out the shape of his RV. It's all black and blurred to him. Grunting in annoyance, he digs into his pocket to retrieve the keys. He holds them up in the air and presses the unlock button on them. 

Nothing happens. 

He sighs, moves a few steps forward, and repeats. 

Nothing happens. 

Jesse rubs a hand over his face. 

"This is gonna be a long fuckin' night."

\---

"OW! Piss!"

Sniper winces, hand flying to his right shoulder, where a jagged link has cut him. He feels wetness on his fingers, and huffs out an annoyed sigh before shrugging it off. He can patch it up later. It shouldn't be too deep. He lifts his sunglasses, narrowing his eyes. He's about as blind as a bat when it's dark. 

Shoving his hand into his trouser pocket, he digs for his keys to the van. He freezes. 

'No, no, NO! PISSING FUCKING BLOODY WANKING SHIT!' Sniper frantically pats down all of his pockets, until the realisation suddenly dawns on him. 

He'd left his keys in the van. 

\---

Click. 

Nothing. 

Three steps forward. 

Click. 

Nothing. 

Three steps forward. 

It has been about five minutes of this routine, and Jesse is already ready to give up. Giving an agitated sigh, he tries one more time. 

There's a sudden familiar double-beep of the van unlocking to his right. 

Both Jesse and Sniper jump, caught by surprise. 

Jesse turns and begins running towards the direction of the noise. 

Sniper flattens his back against the nearest car, and tries to peer around the bumper. 

Jesse reaches the van, and hauls the door open. However, just before he can jump inside, and just before Sniper can move to get a better look, there's a sudden shout. 

"I'M GIVIN' YOU 'TIL THE COUNT OF THREE TO STOP, OR I'M BLOWIN' YOUR BRAINS OUT ON THE GROUNDS OF TRESPASSING!"


	3. Chapter 3

A spotlight sweeps across the ground, and lands as Jesse's feet, before making its way up to his face. He looks up to try and get a look the source, but all he can make out is another dark shape. However, from the way the torch is bobbing up and down, he can tell the person- who he guesses is the night-guard- is getting closer to him. 

Sniper, hearing the commotion, takes his chance and dives around the car. His view is blocked, however, by another vehicle. It's larger than a car, but only by a bit. Sniper peers at it through the darkness. Could it be...? Is it...? Yes! His van!

Jesse is frozen, like a deer in headlights. He doesn't doubt the possibility of the ever-nearing night-guard carrying a gun, (it's America, after all, everyone owns a gun) but he can't afford to be caught. Not now. Not with one foot in the door to his meth lab/mobile home. The guard is now only about two cars away, shouting some obscenities at Jesse, but he isn't paying attention to them. All he can hear is the blood rushing to his ears as he jumps into the van, slams the door, turns the key, and slams down on the acceleration. 

Sniper's hand is on the door handle of the passenger's side when he hears the sudden roar of an engine on the other side of the van. He tugs open the door, and leaps into the van. He stretches out across the two seats, to keep himself hidden, and peeks over the windshield. He only just catches the van crashing through the fence, as the night-guard tries (in vain) to pursue it. He takes his chance, as the guard is still staring after Jesse, to feel around for the keys in the ignition. When his hands catch nothing, Sniper twists himself so that he can get to the wires underneath the wheel, concluding that he must have lost them. He has become quite the expert at hot-wiring, so he's able to do it quickly, even in the dark. 

The night-guard whips around at the sound of yet another engine bursting to life, only to be blinded by headlights. The van revs, and speeds towards the (now destroyed) fence. He only just jumps out of Sniper's path, before the van whips past him, and out of the lot. 

"YEAH BITCH, YEAH!" Jesse shouts, triumphantly thumping his hands against the steering wheel. 

"HA! Piece of piss!" Sniper laughs, loudly, still speeding towards the high way. 

Jesse gets back to his house relatively quickly, taking as many side-streets as possible, so as not to draw attention to himself. When safely parked in his garage, he leans forward, resting his forehead on the steering wheel, and lets out a breathless laugh. He's done it. He's actually got away without any repercussions! 

He jumps out of the van, without bothering to lock it, and heads inside. 

Sniper drives for hours. The adrenaline begins to fade after a while, and his eyelids begin to feel heavier, and heavier. But it doesn't matter, because he's done it. And he's got away scot free. Finally, the base comes into sight. After passing through the poorly disguised entrance, he parks next to the base. 

Unable to muster any more energy to even move, Sniper leans back, and falls asleep almost instantly.


	4. Chapter 4

BANG BANG BANG. 

"PRIVATE! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR IMMEDIATELY AND HAUL THAT SKINNY ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW OR GOD HELP ME I WILL TEAR YOU A NEW ONE!"

BANG BANG BANG. 

"JESSE! OPEN UP GOD DAMMIT, I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!"

Two sets of eyes crack open, rudely awoken to a fist loudly rapping on their door. 

Sniper slowly opens the door, and practically spills out of the van. He steadies himself, leaning against the side for support. In front of him stand Soldier and Engineer. 

Engineer smiles apologetically. 

"Hey, slim. Sorry abo--"

"YOU'RE LATE, CUPCAKE. NOW HAUL ASS AND GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, YOU'VE GOT A FULL DAY OF FIGHTING AHEAD. AND YOU BETTER BE ON TOP FORM."

Soldier barges forward, standing toe-to-toe with Sniper as he bellows at him. Sniper, not at all phased, waits for him to stop, wipes away the spit that has landed on his face, and gives a half-hearted salute. 

"Sir yes, sir," he sighs, deciding that he's too tired to pick a fight with Soldier today. 

Soldier seems satisfied with Sniper's response, as he gives a curt nod, turns on his heel, and promptly marches back towards the base. 

Sniper slumps against the van, groaning and rubbing his hand over his eyes. Engineer clears his throat, and offers Sniper another smile when their eyes meet. 

"I gotta apologise for that one. It was my idea to come check on you, but when Soldier asked where I was going, he insisted he tag along too." He gives a small chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "Are you okay, though? Didn't see you at dinner last night, neither."

"I'm fine, mate," Sniper smiles at him, straightening up. "Just been a crazy night."

Engineer nods, holding up a hand. "Say no more, I get'cha! Well, rest up when you can, and try to get some food in ya. I better get going, but see you out there." 

He gives a wave, and starts walking back to the base, before calling over his shoulder; "Oh, and that new model is a beaut, by the way! Lemme know if you need the door fixed up, though."

Sniper frowns. What did he mean by that? He turns back towards the van, and freezes. He takes a step backwards, and stares up at the van. 

\---

Jesse drags himself up from the couch he collapsed onto, and stumbles to the door. He opens it, yawning and rubbing his eyes. 

"Yo, Mister White, what are you trying to do- wake the whole street up?!" He glares up at Walter, standing there with his arms crossed trying to look all high and mighty.

Walter rolls his eyes. "Jesse, it's ten in the morning. Everyone's already up, and at work. But I suppose you wouldn't know about that, since you've never been able to hold down a single job in your life."

"Hey man, that's not true. I'm holding this job pretty well." 

"God knows how. Your timekeeping is dreadful. We're behind schedule as it is. Now come on. I want the next batch done as soon as possible."

Jesse steps out, shoving past Walter. 

"Alright, alright, keep you hai-- Uh. Never mind." 

God, even after high school, Mister White is still pulling this 'teacher' shit. Nagging him for being late, or mouthing off, or causing the occasional accidental chemical reaction that could- POSSIBLY- create mustard gas or whatever. He walks to garage, and hauls the door open. He freezes. 

\---

Two sets of eyes stare in disbelief. Two sets of jaws hang open. Two sets of minds come to one realisation;

'It's the WRONG VAN!'


	5. Chapter 5

Sniper's eyes are darting left and right, trying to take in every detail of the van in front of him. It's slightly bigger than his, and much more beat-up. His eyes are drawn to the side-door, and he sees bullet holes have punctured it. 

'That can't be good.'

Apprehensively, he approaches the door. He hesitates when his hand wraps around the handle. It's not that he's scared, but he's wary about what he'll find in this dodgy-looking van. He tries weighing up his options, but curiosity gets the better of him in the end. 

Sniper opens the door, and steps inside. 

\--- 

Both Jesse and Walter are speechless as they stare at the van in front of them. It's an entirely different make and colour. There's no way Jesse can even remotely disguise the fact that this is a very different vehicle. 

"Jesse..." Walter talks slowly, eyes fixed on the van as he does. "What... The HELL is THIS?!"

"I... Uh... Gimme a second." Jesse runs over to the door, and yanks it open, in some deluded hope that the meth lab will still be there. 

He looks around, taking in the van's interior.

"... Shit."

\---

"Holy Dooley..." Sniper breathes as his eyes fall on the different pieces of chemistry equipment that litter the kitchen area. 

He takes a few more steps into the van, taking a closer look at the different beakers and tubes. A few of them still contain drops of different substances. 

'What the hell is all this...?'

Sniper spies a few small bags next to him. He picks one up and holds it up to the light. Inside he can see small, blue crystals. Suddenly, something clicks in his head. 

The equipment... The crystals... The fact that it's all hidden away in an RV. 

"THIS IS A BLOODY METH LAB!"

Sniper drops the bag back onto the counter-top, and jumps out of the van, slamming the door behind him as he does. He looks around once outside. No one will have seen him. 

'Bloody Christ! What am I going to do?!' Taking off his hat, Sniper runs a hand through his hair. 

He decides he shouldn't tell anyone. The less people involved in this the better. His thought process is suddenly interrupted, however, by the speakers crackling to life, and The Administrator's voice announcing "Attention! Mission begins in five minutes!"

Swearing, he tugs his hat back on, and breaks into a jog towards the base. 

\---

The inside of Sniper's van is relatively tidy, with the only clutter being spare weapons. It's a standard living space, with no meth lab to be seen. Gulping, Jesse turns to leave the van, but a pair of hands grab onto the front of his hoodie as he does, and he is hauled out of the van, and pressed up against it by Walter. 

"Jesse," Walter practically growls, knuckles turning white with anger. "This had better be a fucking joke."

"W-Well, uh, see... Okay. Okay, what happened was... Uh. The van got towed yesterday, but I snuck in to get it, but I, uh..."

"You... You stole the WRONG VAN?! How did you even-- How can someone be such an IDIOT?! How did you even manage to drive it away?!"

Jesse pauses for a second, and then realisation dawns on his face. 

"Ooh! The keys were already in the ignition when I got in! Shit... How didn't I notice that?"

"How didn't you notice it was the wrong FUCKING VAN, JESSE?!"

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Walter releases Jesse, and takes a step back. Taking off his glasses, and pinching the bridge of his nose, he exhales, slowly. 

"We'd better call Saul."


	6. Chapter 6

"Mission begins in sixty seconds."

Sniper slips into the lineup, patiently waiting for the gates to open. He's panting slightly, and his rifle is sitting askew on his back, but at least he made it on time. 

"Cutting it rather close, aren't we, Bushman?"

Sniper paints on a tight smile as he turns to Spy, who is standing next to him and giving him a prying look. 

"Yeah, well... Slept in."

"I noticed. Late night, I take it?"

"Could say that, yeah."

"You got back around four a.m., yes?"

Sniper pauses. "How did you--"

"I notice much more than one would realise. It's all in the profession." He tries to remain cool and collected, but Sniper notices the corner of his lip twist up into that smug-bastard smirk he has seemed to master so well. 

Sniper is about to interrogate him, when he feels a large hand slap him on the back, winding him. 

"Sniper! Didne think you'd make it man!" Demo appears beside him, grinning.

"Hey, mate!" Sniper laughs lightly, straightening up. 

He turns back to Spy, but sees he has disappeared. 

'Bloody wanker's probably cloaked.'

Overhead, the speakers crackle back to life. 

"Five, four, three, two, ONE!"

The gates open. 

\---

"You-- You-- Wait a second. Lemme get this straight. Crystal-clear. So, first off you get the van towed. Then, you sneak in and steal the van back- breaking the gate off in the process- and THEN, AND ONLY THEN, do you realise it's the WRONG VAN?!"

"... Yeah, that's the jist of it." 

Saul stops pacing behind his desk and turns to face Jesse and Walt. 

"I swear to Christ, you guys are gonna be the death of me- and it ain't gonna be due to drug-lords wanting to get even- it's gonna be because of the STRESS you two cause me! Why didn't you just call me after you got the van towed?!"

Jesse opens his mouth to argue, but stops. He hadn't thought of that. Saul scrubs a hand over his face. 

"And how- HOW do you get the wrong van?!"

"Oh my God, I keep saying this- it was pitch-fuckin'-black in there!"

"So get your gramma to make you more carrots- helps you see!" Saul taps the side of his head, then resumes pacing. 

Jesse slumps in his seat and folds his arms. If Walter had been pulling the teacher act, then Saul was like the God damn principle. Beside him, Walter rolls his eyes. 

"Okay, so all that aside- what are we going to do?"

"What CAN we do?! I called up the lot, and they said that two RVs were stolen that night. One of them was yours, and the other was the one you have. Your van could be half-way across the U.S. by now, or destroyed, or in some police impound lot!"

Walter and Jesse exchange a look of pure panic. Saul runs a hand through his thinning hair, and straightens his tie. 

"Okay, okay. Lemme think... Right. I'll ask around. I've got eyes set up all over the place. But I ain't promising anything, okay? Like I said, that van could be gone now, never to return."

Walter nods, his brow knitting together. 

"Thank you, Saul."

"Yeah, yeah. Look, I'll call you if anything comes up. Now go on, get outta my office before I go into cardiac arrest."


	7. Chapter 7

A mix of blood, missiles, bullets and curses fly through the air as the REDs and BLUs meet in the middle of the terrain. Today, their mission is to capture the control points. So far, BLU has captured one, and RED are trying to reclaim the second. 

Above the chaos and carnage, Sniper has set up a nest in a disused tower. He has an almost perfect view, the only problem being he can only just see half of the control point from where he's sitting. He puts an eye to the scope of his rifle, and sets up a shot on the BLU Scout. 

He breathes out, and pulls the trigger. 

"Argh, piss!" Sniper hisses, as the bullet whizzes past Scout and hits the wall. 

He reaches for another bullet, but suddenly feels a sharp, stabbing pain between his shoulder blades. 

Sniper never liked respawn, but today, as he yells in pain and collapses forwards, it feels more rough than usual. 

\---

"Jesse! Put that away- I am NOT having you smoking weed in my God damn car!" 

"What?! I'm fuckin' stressed!"

Walter grips the steering wheel tighter, channeling all of his energy into NOT slapping some respect into Jesse. 

"And you don't think I am too?! Just put it away and shut up."

Huffing, Jesse stuffs the bag back into his pocket. He leans an elbow on the edge of the car door, and looks out. His hands are shaking. To distract himself, he drums his fingers on his knee. 

Walter rolls his eyes. Is Jesse purposely TRYING to annoy the shit out of him?! He sighs quietly. 

He can tell this is going to be a long drive home. 

\---

"Bloody fuckin' SPIES!"

Sniper takes a few deep breaths, steadying himself. He feels more queasy than usual, but he tries not to dwell on it. He scrubs a hand over his face, the of lack of sleep are starting to take its toll. Making a deal with himself that he can sleep through dinner if he gets through the rest of the working day, Sniper walks back into the field. 

"Tired?" Sniper spins around to see Spy- RED, luckily- leaning against the wall of the respawn room, cigarette in his hand, as always. 

"'M fine." Sniper bristles, hand sliding down to hover over the handle of his kukri. 

Spy's eyes flick down towards Sniper's waist, and a slow smirk forms on his lips. 

"Relax, Bushman. I am not my counterpart. If I was, I would have done away with you already... As I saw he did just moments ago, in your nest."

"How do you know that?" 

"I was on my way up to see you, and ran into him on his way out." Spy fiddles with his cuff as he talks, then stops, and frowns. "He got blood on my suit."

Sniper raises an eyebrow.

"Why were you coming to see me?"

"You seem to be off your game today. I simply wanted to check if you're alright..."

Sniper's fists clench, and he feels anger prickling in the back of his neck. 

'"Off my game"?! Bloody patronising wanker.'

"'M fine." He mutters, once again, through gritted teeth. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better get back out."

Spy nods, smiling politely. Sniper turns to leave, but Spy has an after-thought, and calls out;

"Let's just hope it's not the bed in your new van causing you sleeping problems."

Sniper tenses for a second, and Spy notices. But Sniper just gives a wave and keeps walking. 

Spy taps some ash off the end of his cigarette and onto the ground. 

'There's something bothering him... And I have a feeling whatever it is is inside that van...'


	8. Chapter 8

"Where's the bloody coffee?!" 

Sniper slams the doors of the cupboard, and looks around at his teammates sitting in the canteen. It's only Demo, Pyro, and Engineer, the rest had left after dinner- which Sniper had been unable to sleep through, due to the fact that he couldn't keep his eyes closed for more than two seconds. Engineer looks up from his newest blueprints.

"You used the last of it before the weekend, Slim."

Sniper visibly deflates. 

"Shit, I meant to get some when I was away." He groans, walking over to the table and slumping into a chair across from Engineer.  
"Guess I'll have to go into town..."

"Oh, hey, sweet!" Scout chirps from behind Sniper, jumping into the seat beside him. "Could I hitch a ride? I could go for some chicken, I'm starving!"

"You just had dinner," Sniper rolls his eyes. "How are you hungry again?!"

"Fast metabolism," Scout shrugs, "So whaddya say, Snipes? Do a friend a favour?"

Sniper is about to flatly refuse, when he catches Spy drifting into the canteen. He decides not to gain anymore unwanted suspicion by saying no to Scout (and causing an imminent argument), so he just sighs in defeat. 

"Sure. Fine. I'm leaving in half an hour."

And with that, he gets up and leaves. 

\---

"Yo, Snipes, what the fuck is up with your ride?!" Scout calls, sauntering across to the van and inspecting it. 

"What'd you do, drive into the Blu fuckin' base or something?"

Sniper, seated at the wheel with his window down, takes a deep breath and opens the door for Scout to climb in beside him. 

"Had to trade off the van. This one has better handling and suspension," he lies, hands tightening on the wheel. 

Scout nods, feigning an understanding. 

"Oh, yeah. I mean, you can totally see that. And I bet the horsepower is like... Larger."

Sniper rolls his eyes, starting the ignition. 

"Woah, hey, what's this?" Scout twists round in his seat, eyes catching the colourful blanket sniper hung behind them to obstruct the rest of the van. "Are you a hippie?!"

The blanket was tie-dyed rainbow, with intricate patterns swirling over it. Really, it was just the first thing Sniper could find. He groans. 

"Of course I'm not a bloody hippie. I just spent all of today shooting blokes in the head! It was a gift, if you must know. Now stop being a nosey little prat."

Scout turns back in his seat and slouches back, dismissing the conversation with a shrug. 

The drive to town isn't long, but Sniper feels like they've been in the van for hours when they finally pull up beside a small convenience store. 

"A'ight, I'm gonna check out that new joint over there, catch you in a sec!" Scout jumps out the van and gives Sniper a wave. 

Sniper casts a glance to the restaurant he's walking into. The sign says "Los Polos Hermanos". He shrugs, and walks into the store. 

He buys the coffee, avoiding the cashier's eyes, and heads back to the van. He climbs into the driver's seat, and spies Scout, talking to a young woman. He makes a gesture to the woman, then himself, and she slaps him hard across the face. Sniper stifles a laugh, as Scout walks back up to the van and gets in. 

"Pick up line not go so well, this time?"

Scout scowls, rubbing his face. 

"I don't wanna talk about it."

\---

Saul jolts awake at the sound of a phone buzzing. 

He lifts his head from his desk, and scrambles for the phone. 

"Hey, yeah?!"

"I've found the van," a voice on the other end states. 

Saul slaps a hand to his forehead, leaning back in his chair. 

"Thank GOD! Thank every fuckin' deity there is! Where is it?!"

"Teufort. I saw it in the main town."

"Okay, okay," Saul grabs a pen and scribbles down the name onto a piece of paper. "Is it still there?"

"No. They're gone now. But I asked a couple of locals about the guys who had it, to see if I could trace them..."

"And?!"

"... You might wanna quit while you're ahead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter up... and it only took me over a YEAR????? I gotta apologise guys, my motivation is not what it was. But I'm determined to keep this going and see it through until the end. Next chapter coming... At some point???? All I can say is I promise it won't take another year...


End file.
